The Extra Hour

Every year when we put our clocks back one hour, I go through the same exercise.  I inevitably am looking at 25 hours worth of things I would like to be packing into that 24 hour day anyhow, so the exercise is usually an inventory about what I can do to maximize the magical 60 minutes.  This year is no exception.  Today, this particular Saturday, is a classic example of what I know most modern-day dads have on their calendar.  And don’t get me wrong, it’s all great, there’s just a lot of it.  There’s a  Cub Scout service project, two soccer games, a birthday party, a visit to a woman from our church, and a clean-up project in the neighborhood.  Ugh – the dry cleaning.  There’s always that dry cleaning to pick-up/drop-off.  In between, I really need to clean-up the yard from Hurricane Sandy, I’d like to plant the bulbs for the Spring, I have a pile of work e-mails to get back to, would love to make some calls to friends in New Jersey and New York who have been on my mind, and my Mom just got out of surgery and I need to talk with her and send her a card/drawing from the kids.  Some friends who were going to run the NYC Martahon are going to run their own version of the race here in DC and I wanted to cheer them on and help cheer their spirits at the finish line.  I am volunteering to make some calls as part of a phone bank to encourage people to vote next week.  The minivan needs an oil change.  Oh, exercise.  Yeah, that’s been on my list for the last five years or so, so I’ll just keep it on there to keep balance in the universe (and somehow I feel a bit healthier just seeing the words on the list).

Now, these are all fine duties.  And I love each of them.  It means I’ll be with my kids most of the day, will have the chance to connect with people, get “stuff” done, and serve my community.  And in the meantime, hopefully keep my job and be a productive member of society.  And even while I might want to complain about all that there is to do, I am reminded that my “to-do” list looks like a luxury list for most of the world.  A colleague at work calls these “developed world problems” and it helps to keep me grateful for the bounty that my family and I enjoy.  This week, more than ever, when so many of our friends are still without power and when many people are recovering from the Hurricane, this reminder is even more poignant.  I am blessed and I know it.  I have no reason to complain.

But isn’t this more reason to want to do something really good, really noble, really BIG with that extra “bonus” 60 minutes?  Yes! I am now thinking that the extra 60 minutes is a reminder that I need to really make good on this hour of potential.  My mind starts racing about who I need to help, what I can do to show my gratitude, whom I can serve or reach out to on this annual, blessed day of the extra hour?  As I think through ideas, and look at the calendar when it is unlikely I will get any of it done at all, the most wonderful thing happens…a friend calls.

This friend’s call was unexpected.  So was his advice.  And, like any good friend, he helped me see, in a caring way, that I was on the wrong path.  With a few trust words, he showed me I was approaching this “bonus 60 minutes” thing all wrong.

We are talking as I raced home from work, already late for an appointment when there are four journalists waiting at the house, and a dinner party in the works.  My wife, bless her soul, was keeping the journalists company while we are both thinking through logistics for the dinner party that night and I was just turning the corner onto our street.  I explained to him quickly my frustration with what I could do on this Saturday to maximize productivity, show my gratitude, and be of service to a world where there was too much to do, and not enough time to do it.

“The answer is obvious, Aaron,” he told me.  “You and your wife just need to go out to a movie.”

WHAT? I was barely going to be able to “earn my keep” on the regular to-do list for Saturday.  Movie was the furthest thing from my mind as my 21^st-century-productivity-obsessed-Armenian-Mormon-American-Guilt worked its magic.  “Trust me, buddy.  Nobody is going to judge you for taking a second to just be quiet, be still, hang out with your wife and do something you love to do for 60 minutes.  It will keep you going so you can make the most of the other 24 hours in each day.  Trust me.”

I wrestled with this. Benjamin Franklin’s words that “Lost time is never found again” were racing through my mind.  But as I walked through the door that night, my friend’s words somehow even sounded even more noble.  “I need to take my wife to a movie.”  I pictured the two phrases etched into a marble hall, or stitched onto a needlepoint pillow, side-by-side.  Which was the more important phrase of wisdom for my life this Saturday?

So I got a babysitter.  We’re going to a movie.  I still decided to set my alarm clock a few minutes earlier this morning so I could write this post and make sure I get all the other stuff done.  But I am going to call it progress overall.  The “bonus hour” this year will be spent with the most important person in my life.  And I hope it will help us make the most of, savor, and serve in those other wonderful 24 hours we all get each day.